Tag Archives: Relationships

and then

Today I had my follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist. She expressed her concern that I do everything for everybody else, but I don’t do anything for myself. Can I also wonder if anyone does anything for me in return. It’s not selfish, it’s self love, self care.

She is also greatly concerned with the fact that after I return from Arizona after helping Mike drive down to move down, I will not have any one person as a confidant; and no one to rely on as much as Mike and I have relied on each other. So what do I do. That is the question.  I don’t see finding anyone to be there. Finding someone to trust.

Mike and I were talking about how being at our age, being gay, and being single is a detriment because everyone I know, everyone he knows, is settled down, married or in a relationship, and have their own family responsibilities. Those that are single, most of them would prefer partying and that’s not what I need, that’s not what I want.

I would hope to find someone that we could rely on each other. But how do you find such.  No, not meetup groups because those are groups. Yes, they’re great for socializing but for that one-on-one kinship, someone who we could rely on each other.

This whole life transition of being unemployed for now 22 weeks, with 105 resumes applications sent out, and now having my best friend move away, another vacancy occurs and I am lost. Just another season of singing Hold Me Jesus Because I’m Shaking Like a Leaf.


Claiming Magnificence

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure . . . It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
— Marianne Williamson

A quote by Soren Kierkegaard on Purpose and Potential —
“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating as possibility!”
― Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

As I start 2018, with no job, plodding through group therapy, and a troubled outlook with life, from the bottom looking up, I catch a glimmer of potential and possibilities. Who knows what this year can bring, but I hopefully shall meet it with an ardent spirit.

Only in God’s grace.


Partial Hospitalization – What?

Glad Christmas Tidings to you coming from the Tengesdal Home in Crestview Apartments. It is great to rejoice in the celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus the Messiah.

The past couple weeks have been rather Continue reading Partial Hospitalization – What?


Between the Shadows

Hopeless Romantic Cacophony #170919 —

First things first: There is NOTHING wrong with being single, even in this heteronormative, coupling-minded society. Even so, here are some two dozen personally experienced truths regarding the hope for romance Continue reading Between the Shadows


But yet, I am drained

My Life is an Open Book Rambling Journal Entry #170825: 🤔

No more passive aggressive. No more walking on eggshells. No more tiptoeing
Continue reading But yet, I am drained