Tag Archives: Loneliness

and then

Today I had my follow-up appointment with my psychiatrist. She expressed her concern that I do everything for everybody else, but I don’t do anything for myself. Can I also wonder if anyone does anything for me in return. It’s not selfish, it’s self love, self care.

She is also greatly concerned with the fact that after I return from Arizona after helping Mike drive down to move down, I will not have any one person as a confidant; and no one to rely on as much as Mike and I have relied on each other. So what do I do. That is the question.  I don’t see finding anyone to be there. Finding someone to trust.

Mike and I were talking about how being at our age, being gay, and being single is a detriment because everyone I know, everyone he knows, is settled down, married or in a relationship, and have their own family responsibilities. Those that are single, most of them would prefer partying and that’s not what I need, that’s not what I want.

I would hope to find someone that we could rely on each other. But how do you find such.  No, not meetup groups because those are groups. Yes, they’re great for socializing but for that one-on-one kinship, someone who we could rely on each other.

This whole life transition of being unemployed for now 22 weeks, with 105 resumes applications sent out, and now having my best friend move away, another vacancy occurs and I am lost. Just another season of singing Hold Me Jesus Because I’m Shaking Like a Leaf.


Between the Shadows

Hopeless Romantic Cacophony #170919 —

First things first: There is NOTHING wrong with being single, even in this heteronormative, coupling-minded society. Even so, here are some two dozen personally experienced truths regarding the hope for romance Continue reading Between the Shadows


But yet, I am drained

My Life is an Open Book Rambling Journal Entry #170825: 🤔

No more passive aggressive. No more walking on eggshells. No more tiptoeing
Continue reading But yet, I am drained


I’m An Older Gay Man — Huffington Post

David Toussaint, Contributor
Four-Time Author, Longtime Writer, Actor, and Pug Lover
I’m An Older Gay Man And I Know It Will Get Worse
If you are gay and not partnered at this age, you face much of the same criticisms that single straight people do.
08/23/2017 02:00 pm ET

Another Day in the Life

What is it like. Why do you just lie around. Quit being so lazy. Just get out there. How much longer are you going to be like this. Do you ever stop complaining. Is it really that bad.


No, I do not want to be like this. Yes, I want it to just quit. Yes, I just want to be heard. Even my silence. Even yet through it all, when no one else, I do know that Christ my savior is with me. But sometimes, I just want a human there, sitting in presence, doing nothing but being. One day. Why is that such a bad thing to long for. Why am I just told to get over it. On my own. Like I have always ever done.