Rambling Journal Entry #171006: Only but two weeks later, and it yet remains a reality. The sting will depart. Yet always ever still wanting to find my reason in this world. Took a long drive on Sunday, did some river sitting, longing for the final end, I still got nothing. Prospects for work are present, yes. Overall at this age, I wish I could have been more steady, secure, stable. Silence, solitary, steadfastness do stay with me. I continue.