Rambling Journal Entry #160820:
One of the many evils that I did unto myself during my first 50 years of childhood was perpetually purposing to please everyone to gain their acceptance and inclusion. During my second 50 years of childhood, no more. I know the difference between trite patronizing and true welcome. I know it is not my job to please everyone. I know it is not anyone’s job to please me. I know friends who understand my quirks, and help keep me in check. I know friends who know my faults, and shrink away. This is my ever-growing manifesto.
Life is simple. Do what your passion enjoys. Be yourself no matter what people say, or no matter who leaves the circle — you will never be what they want you to be. Seek what is right and just, love mercy, follow God. Live obsessed with improving life, whether in small or in large ways. Invest in community. Will it really matter in 10, 50, 100, or 1000 years from now? Have the courage to reach out to unknown people, experiences, adventures. Life will let us down, people let us down, but the Lord is always reliable. Live free with those who are mutually beneficial, those who help progress to growing as a better man, those who sooth chaos and confusion in my soul. Celebrate the big and small in your friend’s life. Attend their event and give them your full support and encouragement. Choose self-worth over shame, connection over isolation. Imitate Christ in compassion with those on the margins. Live truthful and authentic despite the pain of vulnerability. Live curiously engaged and inspired. If they damper your passion, your soul, let them go, do not pursue. Question everything, make a mess. Family is not only just blood relatives. Opinions of others are based on their own fears and suspicions. I am capable of the extraordinary, join with like souls who challenge the status quo and push the edges. Learn to say “enough is enough”, accept no more, and say “Be Gone”. Allow space for your undiscovered ideas, and the ideas of others. Be joyful. Be at peace. Acknowledge that I am not everyone’s cup of tea — some people find me to be emotionally draining, some find me to be terrifying, my authenticity annoys people. It is ok. The people who want me in their life don’t have to explain themselves or justify, they simply include. People are too busy, and not spontaneous, so what if they do not invite you to the show. I have done life on my own for a vast majority of it. People who know me, know my interests, and they don’t wonder if they should invite me because they don’t question if I would be interested. Your life is your story, your lived reality. People do not live your reality, and most will never see your perspective. Run naked and free. You are a human being with a complex array of needs, wants, passions, desires. Satisfy without harming others.